I’m high….again….I figure it’s a good thing. Why you ask? Weed has a way of keeping me out of trouble, mostly by stopping me from consuming alcohol. How does it do that you ask? By gluing me to the couch/chair/floor/desk/table/kitchen counter/bed/toilet, basically, anything I can “get comfy” on.
What happens when I consume alcohol? Well thats a mighty fine question. Have you heard of the Svenny Swagger? To sum it up, you take one part Svenny and mix it with two parts any kind of liquor. shake, then light a joint.
Caution: Side affects may include hitting on other peoples mothers, daughters, and sisters, phenomenal dancing, as well as being a general nuisance to everyone within a mile radius.
So consider yourself lucky that all I do is smoke weed. Now you don’t have to buy that new alarm system, svenny’s all locked up in a puddle of happiness named marijuana.
If, say by chance, I’m already involved with your daughter, sister, or wife, then please read this disclaimer:
Just kidding!!! I tend to make things up, I’m sure I really, really, really love your daughter, mother, or sister. I’m actually a virgin who believes in waiting until marriage and lives with his grandma, shes right here beside me hitting the bong. Wow Nana, thats a huge bowl, do you think you can take all that…Wow, you sure can…oooh thats a sexy cough you got Nana, you must drive the boys crazy. You dont cough for long though do you? Can you say Trooper? Nana? I think Nana has taken her last hit…Nana?…*dials 911*…Oh Nana, it seems only fitting you die puffing on the bonginator 27.
RIP Nana 1900-2008 *stoned circa 1910.
Roommate Wanted
Must have the following qualifications to apply:
A Vagina
Large Breasts
Pretty Feet
Tiny Hands (I like the joint to look bigger)
Iron Lungs
If you meet these qualifications please send photos to svennysvenassi@hotmail.com for pre evaluation. Chosen candidates will all be subjected to a final evaluation which may or may not include vegetables and fruit such as bananas, cucumbers, and pineapples.
**preference given to women who list their favorite smells as 1. Weed 2. The smell of matches and poo 3. Glue
U say Y svenny? I say Y not svenny?
Svenny Svenassi
Word on the Street